Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
