Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
