wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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