I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
