she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
