He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i think im in europe. pls send help
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
