Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
