Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
