everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
