at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
