there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
