so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats