Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men