So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.