so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
