lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
17 year olds will be the death of me.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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