She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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