And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
