Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
