taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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