does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
