I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
