It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
