Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
