sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
you made out with another girl for some wings
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
