im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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