I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
