With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
