So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I will die if light touches me.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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