Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE