There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.