Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.