I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
