I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Randomize