Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
