I can tuck mytits in my pants
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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