He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
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The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
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It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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