yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
