you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
