So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You smell like a Billy Joel song
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
