That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
