Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize