i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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