I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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