I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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