Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
