what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
