its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
