the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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