i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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