Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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