did you get engaged???
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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