I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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