gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
