A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
