we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize