The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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