nutella sex= disaster
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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