she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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