btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he was CRYING into my vagina
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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