We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
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i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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