so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
