sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
