He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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