Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
