oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
