Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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