Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
