I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
