Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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