everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
